I think I've become a spam addict
I recently wrote an article, 5 Reasons Why You Should PostA Free Classified Ad, and have received a lot of positivefeedback about the article but nobody said anything nice about the spamsters.
I tried to imagine what the Internet would be like withoutspam and concluded my life would be negatively impacted byit's absence.
Most of the spam I get is funny. Ridiculous claims, poorsyntax and bad spelling seem to be the constants. Sometimes when I try to reply to their scheme I am told bythe server that they have been shut down. These patheticsouls are promoting something that is, at least temporarily, out of business. They cite U.S. House andSenate bills that died in session as evidence they are notspamsters. I have actually been advised that unsolicitedbulk email is not spam.
When I check my email and find no new messages it's a letdown. I feel unpopular, unloved. If it's a slow day andall I have is a little spam, I read it. It's pretty obviousthese front line spamsters have been taken in by the slickwebsite that provides a bundle of services for a fee whichincludes "blasting" a pitch to millions of "opt in" emailaddresses. I feel better just knowing there is somebodydumber than Stupidman. They're so dumb they probably don'tknow they're spamming plus they paid for the privilege.
I used to save the "Nigerian" letters that arrived by snailmail. The stamps were pretty and there was some variationin the story line. Visitors that came to my office wereamused by my collection and often requested copies. I received a Nigerian email a couple of weeks ago that wassent from a Yahoo! account.
What a pleasant, nostalgic experience. The poor grammar,their admission of stealing $70,000,000 from the Nigeriangovernment (death sentence ?), offering me 30% to committa federal crime by laundering the money. All I had to dowas provide them with the information necessary to raid mybank account and steal my identity. Sure it was spam, butit was entertaining. The Yahoo! account made me suspiciousthat this might be a "fake" Nigerian scheme. I hope not,as I thought it was uplifting to know that the Nigerianswere using the Internet to improve their economy.
I've even received some educational spam. Got a long chainletter scheme in Spanish (or Spammish as it is referred toin the Stupidman household). It became a project for myson, Greased Lightning, and me to translate. As he'll betaking Spanish II next year this was a worthwhile familyproject. He even enjoyed it.
I don't like receiving the porn spam. It might be okay ifI was single but I'm not. I worry that I'll be accused byThe Boss, Mrs. Stupidman, or the kids of being a porn addict. (It's bad enough being a spam addict.) All I cando is delete it. On the rare occasions when they offer an"unsubscribe" you have to do it at a website. That soundslike a good way to get on even more porn lists.
If you are viewing an empty mail box and missing out on therich, cultural experiences like the Nigerian letter andSpammish email, it may not be because you are unpopular.It's probably due to your spam filters. Turn them off, have some fun and read the spam.
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